Older kids (older than 10 years old) are usually trapped by abusers by using Temptation & Blackmail.
Boys are tempted by showing pornography. And once they have seen the pornography, then they can be blackmailed by saying “I’ll tell your parents”.
Girls can be blackmailed in various ways. “I have your photographs, and I’ll put them on the internet.” The abuser doesn’t even need a photograph. Just take a photo from the internet with similar profile and claim it is that girl’s photograph. And once the girl is scared of her photos going on the internet (or in the wrong hands), then she’ll go a long way to avoid that.
How can parents counteract this:
- Be reasonable about porn. Extreme reactions push kids away. Do not treat every mistake as a catastrophe.
- Remember the vaccination principle: booster doses every 6 months till kids tell you to buzz off.
- Multiple instances of showing faith in your kids and letting them commit mistakes goes a long way to build their faith in you.