What to do if i find out that one of the kids was/is abused?

The real answer will depend on the circumstances and your willingness to take appropriate steps.
It’s not clear what is the best thing to do, because there are too many variables, and every situation is different. The various possibilities are

  1. Do nothing – easiest and the most wrong response.
  2. Tell your kid not to go near that person again
  3. If you have the courage, go to that person and let them know “My child was not comfortable with the way you behaved. Be careful.” Be careful of the phrasing, be firm, have clear eye contact. If possible, take the child along.
  4. Let it be known on the grapevine that the responsible person is not to be trusted around kids
  5. Go to police. You’ll be surprised at how good the police are with this issue.
  6. If you think your child is affected, go to a doctor. Could be a GP or pediatrician. Child psychiatrist if possible – but there are not too many of those.
  7. Note: never ask your kid what to do next. Take a decision and follow through. Don’t ask the kid for an opinion.

Out of the above, do what you think is right. In fact, neither you nor we can predict how you’ll react, so no point analyzing that too much.

Please – do not sweep it under the carpet. Do not be satisfied with safeguarding you kids only. Abusers often abuse many kids over years so an abuser let off, will continue to hunt other kids !!


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